


thats your husband?!

by a_very_smol_frog



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Professors, Fluff, Iwa-chan and Iwaizumi are the same person?!?!?!?!, M/M, POV Outsider, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 04:27:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29412615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_very_smol_frog/pseuds/a_very_smol_frog
Summary: Hanamaki Takahiro has been forced to listen to his physics professor, Dr. Oikawa Tooru, talk about his disgustingly perfect marriage and amazing husband Iwa-chan for half a semester. The entire class knows that they are soulmates, but no one has ever seen the infamous Iwa-chan (not even a picture!)One day the new volleyball coach Iwaizumi Hajime drops into their class unexpectedly.There is no way Iwa-chan and Iwaizumi are the same person, right?!
Relationships: Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 25
Kudos: 259
Collections: Iwaoi Server Valentine Exchange 2021





	thats your husband?!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [elisosly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elisosly/gifts).



> Happy Valentine's Day [eli!](https://twitter.com/elisosly) This was so much fun to write!!!! I hope you like it <3

Hanamaki plops down in the back row of his lecture hall and curses whoever decided that intro physics should be at such an ungodly hour. It's two in the afternoon, but honestly, physics at any point in the day should be categorized as cruel and unusual punishment. 

He should have taken Matsukawa’s advice and signed up for botany. Apparently, their main grade for the lab depends on being able to keep a plant alive. Maybe he’ll put rat poison in his geranium to teach that bushy eyebrowed bastard a lesson in humility. 

It’s not all terrible though, the professor isn’t some old dickwad who has been teaching since the 80’s and doesn’t understand Youtube automatic replay. Dr. Oikawa Tooru is young, energetic, a total fucking nerd, and honestly, not bad on the eyes. 

So, all in all, it could be a lot worse. 

Even though the class is huge, Dr. Oikawa tries his best to get to know everyone personally and make the class feel more intimate. He actively engages them; asking them questions and listening to their answers, making the lecture slides funny so they’ll laugh, or relating the material to pop culture so they’ll be more interested. Hanamaki has had to go to office hours a few times for help on his homework, and each time Dr. Oikawa has found a new way to explain the material so it’s easily understood. 

His office walls are lined with not only physics books, but also teaching manuals and guidebooks. His passion for physics and astronomy is obvious—Hanamaki made the mistake of asking him about his favorite subject one time. Four hours later, he left knowing more about the theory of parallel universes than he ever wanted to learn—but he also cares about his students and wants to assure they’re learning. Sadly, that can’t be said for all of Hanamaki’s professors. 

It’s Dr. Oikawa’s dedication that drags Hanamaki’s unenthusiastic ass to lecture every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. If it were anyone else, he probably would have dropped the class by now. 

Today he’s here a bit early, and Dr. Oikawa is already down at the front of the lecture hall, excitedly talking about something to a few girls seated in the front row. Hanamaki doesn’t even need to pay attention to know what he’s talking about. There is only one other subject besides physics that makes Dr. Oikawa’s eyes light up like stars. 

“And last night Iwa-chan packed me this cute lunch! Look, he decorated the omelette to look like a puppy!” Dr. Oikawa excitedly shows the girls a picture of his lunch from earlier, a chorus of awes follows shortly after, and Hanamaki rolls his eyes.

The only thing Dr. Oikawa likes talking about more than space and physics is his darling husband—Iwa-chan. No one has actually seen the guy, but Hanamaki’s heard enough stories about him that it feels like he knows him on a personal level. 

They met as children and were best friends all throughout grade school. After high school, they separated for a little bit. Dr. Oikawa went and did his undergrad and masters in Argentina, while Iwa-chan went to California to go to college. Then, they both ended up back in Japan, and their friendship rekindled into something more.

“It was fate,” Dr. Oikawa always says with a little twinkle in his eyes. Anyone who comes to class a few minutes early gets the treat of listening to whatever sappy romantic crap Iwa-chan did the night prior. 

The girls have become a bit obsessed, always filling up the front row of chairs the second the lecture before their class is finished. Dr. Oikawa is always happy to wax poetically about his love, and indulges all of their prying questions. 

Iwa-chan’s birthday is in June. His favorite animal is a dalmatian (Dr. Oikawa plans on getting him a puppy this year for his birthday to celebrate his fancy new job). His favorite color is light blue. He likes agedashi tofu. He’s scared of moths, and Dr. Oikawa finds it hilarious whenever one flies into their house because Iwa-chan will hide under the covers and scream for him to kill it. 

Their romance belongs in some cheesy chick flick movie, and Hanamaki would be lying if he said he wasn’t a tiny bit jealous. Who doesn’t want to find their soulmate?

Hanamaki’s attention turns away from listening about Iwa-chan’s latest cooking obsession when he hears a body settle down next to him. He looks over to see Kuroo, still sweaty and gross from his morning practice. 

“Jesus, you fucking stink.” Hanamaki wrinkles his nose. Kuroo simply shrugs his shoulders and pops open the lid to his water bottle, hurriedly chugging half it's contents. 

“Practice ran late. Couldn’t shower,” he breaths between gulps. Hanamaki pushes his backpack to the other side of his chair, as far away as possible from the biohazardous waste Kuroo tries to pass off as a gym bag. 

“There is this cool new invention called deodorant. You should try it sometime.” Kuroo doesn’t respond, just flipping him the bird instead. 

“Our new coach is a monster. I mean, I guess I should have expected it since he trained the national team through two Olympics, but god he’s kicking our asses. Even Shouyou and Bo are dead by the end of practice.” 

Kuroo Tetsuro lives on Hanamaki’s dorm floor, and they have trauma bonded over their shared hatred of physics. He also happens to be a middle blocker on their University’s volleyball team. Hanamaki has met most of the team through association, and he hangs out with them sometimes when Matsukawa is busy with classes or clubs. They're rambunctious, but easy to fool, so Hanamaki enjoys their company.

He’s also gotten to meet the six-foot greek god they have as a coach: Iwaizumi Hajime. Maybe if Hanamaki asks him nicely, Iwaizumi will crush his head between his marble sculpted tights, or choke him with his rock solid biceps. 

A man can dream.

“Iwa-chan! What did I do to deserve such an impromptu visit from heaven’s sexiest angel?” Hanamaki and Kuroo’s eyes snap up. They’re finally going to feast their eyes on the legendary Iwa-chan?! 

“Huh, why is Coach Iwaizumi here?” It takes a few seconds—give them a break, it's the early hour of two o’clock—but when Dr. Oikawa skips over and places a wet kiss on Iwaizumi’s cheek, every lightbulb in their brains lights up, and then promptly explodes. 

“THAT’S IWA-CHAN?!” Hanamaki shoots out of his chair, pointing an accusing finger at the couple below. He can’t help his sudden outburst—he needs answers **now**.

Iwaizumi takes a step away from Oikawa and gives him a glare. 

“What have you been telling them about me Shittykawa?” 

Dr. Oikawa shrugs, tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth as he smiles. “Oh, Iwa-chan nothing bad, I promise! I just tell them about how we’re soulmates, and how lovey you are after you get all snuggled on the couch in your Godzilla pajamas.” For a moment they just stare at each other in silence, Dr. Oikawa looking all too pleased with himself, and Iwaizumi with a deadpan expression. 

The entire class leans forward in their chairs, watching with bated breath. 

“Five bucks Coach punches him in the head,” Kuroo whispers. 

“I bet ten that he kicks his ass right here in front of everyone.” Kuroo thrusts his hand out, and they shake on it, eyes never leaving the front of the room. No matter what happens, it’s bound to be a show. 

After a few more moments Hanamaki wonders if they’re just going to sit there and stare until one of them slowly withers away, but Iwaizumi finally breaks eye contact and turns to the class. 

He clears his throat, taking a dramatic pause, before speaking.

“In fourth grade, Tooru was too stubborn to use the bathroom when his mom told him to, and ended up pissing his pants in the middle of a grocery store.” 

Dr. Oikawa lets out a squawk. Iwaizumi forges on, unfazed by the noise.

“In high school, he got a zit right on the tip of his nose the day before picture day. He tried to use his sister’s makeup to cover it up, but it made his whole nose orange, and now it’s the infamous carrot nose picture. At his first college party, he got blackout drunk and accidentally sent a picture of himself in his alien boxers to his RA.” The entire class stares in silence, too shocked to say anything. 

If Hanamaki wasn’t hopelessly in love with Iwaizumi before, he knows there is no going back now. Fighting fire with fire—roasting your husband of six years, and best friend of over twenty in front of a room of entire strangers, without a shred of remorse. 

Hanamaki’s respect for Iwaizumi increases tenfold, and he vows to do everything in his power to be just like him one day.

Dr. Oikawa skips forward and slaps a hand over Iwaizumi’s mouth. Muttering is still audible, but the words are too muffled to make out what embarrassing story he’s telling now. 

“ _Alright_ , Iwa-chan! I think that is quite enough, thank you.” He holds up a keychain with a sparkly UFO charm that has a set of car keys attached. “Here are my keys. Why don’t you take them and skedaddle back down to the gym where you belong.” Dr. Oikawa’s hand drops, showing the class the shit-eating grin on Iwaizumu’s face. He reaches up and snatches the keys from Dr. Oikawa, fishing a different set out of his own pocket and slapping them in Dr. Oikawa’s palm. 

“Don’t crash my car, dumbass, or I'll kill you.” 

“Are you all hearing this? My dearest husband, threatening to kill me! The brutality I am forced to put up with!” Iwaizumi turns his back and walks towards the door, throwing a not very romantic hand gesture over his shoulder.

“Are we sure this is the same Iwa-chan that learned how to knit so he could make Dr. Oikawa a matching alien-themed hat, glove, and scarf set? Do you think Dr. Oikawa has a problem with drugs? Maybe we should tell someone.” There’s no way in hell the Iwa-chan they have heard so much about and Coach Iwaizumi Hajime are the same people. The numbers just don’t add up. 

“I don't know man, ya can’t judge a book by its cover. Tsukki told me last night that he hoped I choked and died on my fish cake, but then this morning he woke up early to scrape the ice off my car because he knows I hate doing it. People show love in different ways.” 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Matsukawa went out of his way yesterday to get him the fancy coffee beans he really likes, even though the place that sells them is clear on the other side of town. But last week, he drew a dick on his cheek in permanent marker. Their love isn’t a fairytale, but Hanamaki wouldn’t have it any other way. 

When he gets to the door Iwaizumi stops, lets out a huge sigh, and then turns around to stomp back over to a pouting Oikawa. 

“Wait, Iwa-chan I was just kidding! Please!” Dr. Oikawa throws his hands up in defense, but Iwaizumi gently takes them in his own and lowers them. 

“I love you dumbass, have a good day.” He leans in and presses a quick kiss to Dr. Oikawa’s cheek before making a hasty getaway. Even from the back of the lecture hall, Hanamaki can see the bright red blush that’s spread across Iwaizumi’s cheeks. 

Iwaizumi may be a bit gruff, and Oikawa a drama queen, but it’s clear by the smiles on both of their faces as Iwaizumi leaves, that even though they’re different, they are perfect for each other. 

And at the end of the day, that’s all that really matters. 

“Okay, class! It is time to learn about Fourier transformations!” A groan echoes through the lecture hall. Dr. Oikawa claps his hands with glee as he starts to explain how to write out the functions and what they mean. 

Hanamaki pulls his notebook out of his backpack and begins begrudgingly copying the notes off of the screen. 

Maybe he had written off drugs too soon. There is no way someone sober could get this much enjoyment out of math. 


End file.
